Throwback Mother’s Day Blog… Mother’s Day is Legit

This week on Chatter, we thought we would go with a throwback blog. This one got some nice acclaim a few years ago so we are re-releasing it. There’s some good stuff in here!

Also happy birthday to my baby brother, born on Mother’s Day four and a half decades ago.

Enjoy and Happy Mother’s Day!!

In the Hall household growing up, May was a big month. My brother was born in May. Mother’s Day is in May. In fact, my momma’s-boy brother was born in 1974 on Mother’s Day!!  What a gift!!

One thing I learned more than anything from my mom………moms like cool things.  They like cool lingo.  They want to be a part of the action.  They don’t like being left out.  People used to ask my mom why she watched so much Sports Center and she would reply “with a house full of boys I don’t like being left out of the conversation.”  That pretty much sums up how cool my mom was in general.

Moms also like controversy.  Controversy can be fun.  I falsely accused my mom when I was 14 years old in a moment of weakness of “shrinking my laundry on purpose”.  Yea I actually said that to her.  She thought I was nuts for sure…and she also thought it was funny.  It made me feel better when I later apologized for “wrongly accusing her”.  She asked me if I knew I was nuts.  I didn’t realize it at 14.

Of all the holidays, Mother’s Day is the best and most important.   Moms matter. A lot. (Remember my blog about birthdays and how we should really be celebrating your mother instead of you?) They do stuff that really amazes me. I can make a list but I won’t. Actually what the hell, I will.

1.They tell you what you want to hear, at the exact moment you need to hear it.
2. When you make big mistakes, they seem to understand the most that we are human.
3. When good things happen they are by far the most proud.
4. If things are really messed up and you need help, mom is always the go-to.
5. If you feel like all is lost, mom will tell you that it’s not…..and somehow she knows the right answer.

My dad used to tell me “if you bring your mother a stick and tell her it’s a gift she will love it”. Mom’s love is probably as unconditional as it gets. She knows your flaws. She defends you to the end. She has your back unwaveringly.

So today is the day to call all moms in the world just to say “you are the bomb” (or whatever cool thing you want to say).

May is a month that moms should be celebrated.  My mom passed away 6 years and 5 days ago…In May.  May is always Mom’s month in my heart.
Hug all moms today.  It’s not the right thing to do, it’s the only thing to do.

D.Hall

A Little Tiny Punch In The Face

How easy is it to get lost when you are in pursuit of your goals? Very! Distractions are everywhere. Human beings are flawed. Other things come up. Doing big things take constant effort and consideration. It is not easy.

That’s where a tiny punch to the face is helpful. Do you have a mentor/friend that tells you things you don’t want to hear? Well in my experience to be great, we all need one. Someone to point out important things we need to take note of that we might be missing. It opens your eyes to what’s really happening and where you might be falling short.

I especially think this is important for younger people. Confidence is a precious thing and so is reality…the mix is tough. I’ve always felt from my discussions with super high achievers, that it is better to “believe what is helpful, over what is true”. So that’s the confidence part. The reality part is you prancing through your days being mediocre, thinking mediocre stuff and telling everyone how bad ass you are. Not a successful mix.  It’s helpful for us all to have someone to check us and say, “Dude you aren’t bad ass in the slightest.” That’s a tough thing to hear. Which is often replied to with “what do you mean?” … “What do I mean? You’re up half the night, your eating habits suck, you’ve been doing the same production 3 months in a row, you aren’t taking care of yourself or your goals and you are capable of so much more”.

Things that are tough to hear are often the things we need the most. Love comes in many forms and it can be argued that the “tough” love has the greatest impact.

Just a little punch in the face will do you some good now and then.

Have a great Sunday.

DHall

Never Shrink Yourself

Happy Sunday: Here is a great post from our internal guest blogger, Jackie! Jackie is our Special Projects Marketing Director here at HFG.

“Don’t shrink who you are to make someone else feel comfortable” … A phrase I’ve heard over and over in the course of my life. And boy, is it vital to truly understand this concept.

So many times, in life we are put in challenging positions that take us out of our comfort zone. We have to work with people who may seem more talented or qualified to do a job than us. And on the contrary we have to work with people that may see us as the more talented or qualified individual. In any scenario, do not downplay what you can bring to the table!

Have you ever been in a situation with someone that seems more comfortable when you’re silent or disengaged? Pay attention to those people and recognize that is the exact action of someone that feels threaten by you… and that’s not your problem. It can seem easier to shrink down your abilities when you’re in a room full of people that are not on the same level as you. You want to seem personable and friendly. You want to blend in with the crowd and you don’t want anyone to perceive you as braggadocios. But you don’t have to act high and mighty to showcase your skills. It’s never necessary to make yourself small, so someone else can feel big. You’d be doing yourself and the people around you a disservice by not fully walking in your passion and capabilities.

Everything you do you should be giving 101% no matter who is in the room. If you’re good at something be proud of that and let it inspire other people to step their game up. You will not serve anyone by diminishing yourself.

Dhall Here: I hope you enjoyed the read! Have a great Sunday!

Dhall

 

People Who Think Like This Fire Me Up!

Imagine this… you are the best player in your college sport. Now imagine you make it all the way to the Final Four. Then imagine you lose, but you’re still projected to be the number 1 pick according to every expert in the sport’s industry. So, your next logical step would be to pursue going pro because that is what you are expected to do.

Now, when given a chance to go get the money, the fame, the publicity, you say, “I’m returning to college for my senior season because I have unfinished business.”

I don’t know about you, but that gives me goosebumps. Big ones!!!

I love people with passion and purpose. I especially love it when people with passion and purpose don’t do what everyone else thinks they should do. They don’t do what MOST people would do… the perceived “easier choice.”  And I REALLY love when people know the money will still be there, but their priority is to FINISH the “unfinished business”.

This girl has a mission, a purpose that’s way greater than money. Her mindset will take her places.

I don’t know why, but that fires me up. It’s inspiring!!

Click here to read the article. Have a great Sunday!!

Dhall

Today’s Thought: Opportunity

At UWM we like to call things that are challenging or need improvement an “opportunity”. Again, this may sound like semantics, but it is so much bigger than that. My emergency dentist appointment this morning? I couldn’t get in as early as I wanted, so I had some down time. My mom is in town from Ohio and she was with me, so we decided to go to Panera and get coffee to kill time before I could go to the dentist. I can’t remember the last time I got to go for coffee with my mom. I felt so grateful for this opportunity. We got to unwind for a minute and just chat. This wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t need to go see the dentist, and if my appointment wasn’t delayed.

I was really practicing my not complaining, and at the end of the day I got to check in with my husband and even though it was a seemingly rough day, I didn’t feel depleted. I had energy left to talk and check in.

Challenging things that come our way truly are an opportunity. It’s a chance for us to get better. If not for that challenge or obstacle, when else would we have that unique opportunity for joy and growth? One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the movie Evan Almighty. In the scene the wife is going through a hard time with her husband and she is venting to her waiter about it (who is God). And the waiter said to her “If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?”

We have so many goals and aspirations and so many things that we want out of life, and we think challenges that come up are obstacles in our way, but they are the exact opposite. They are opportunities to work that muscle we are building, whatever it may be. So today I challenge you to look at every obstacle and challenge as an opportunity to make your stronger and reach your goals.

Happy Sunday: I hope you enjoyed reading our final post from our guest blogger, Danielle DeAngelis. Danielle is a team member at United Wholesale Mortgage, and over the last month, she has been sharing outstanding post on Chatter in The Hall.

 

I wanted to personally say thank you to Danielle for contributing such amazing entries!

 

Today’s Thought: Failure

Happy Sunday: I hope you enjoy reading another extraordinary post from our guest blogger, Danielle DeAngelis. Danielle is a team member at United Wholesale Mortgage and has been sharing her “complaint- free challenge” journey with us on Chatter in The Hall. She has some great words of encouragement about pushing past failure… keep reading!

Today’s Thought: Failure

Let’s talk about juggling. If you were interested in taking up juggling as a hobby and you bought yourself a starter kit, you might notice that the kit comes with juggling bean bags, not juggling balls, and there is a reason for this. The reason is, if you are going to take up juggling, you better prepare to drop the bags from time to time! No one takes up juggling and is automatically an expert at it. It takes practice, resilience, and the willingness to fail, and then try again. We have a bad tendency to quit things that we are not automatically good at. We take up exercise and quit shortly after. We take on a new daily ritual like yoga or meditation or packing a lunch, and we quickly give up. The problem is not failing, the problem is giving up. In fact, failure is our best teacher because it teaches us the ways that we could do better next time. But we can’t utilize this gift unless we try again¸ and continue to try and try and try until we are finally a natural at the thing we are trying to accomplish.

Likewise, you may feel like you are not good at this complaint-free thing. Maybe you haven’t made it a single day without complaining. Maybe you were like me and you forgot your bracelet when you left for work this morning. Maybe you are doing really well with not complaining, but when you get around a certain family member, friend or co-worker you just CAN’T resist, and you dive right into a complaining competition. Whatever way you might feel like you are “failing”, acknowledge it, learn from it, and then navigate a way to overcome it. Try again.

DHall Here: Danielle challenged her team to go 21 business days without complaining, which I think is awesome! After seeing some of the remarkable stuff she was sending out to her team, I knew I had to share with you!

Come back next week for another awesome post!

DHall

Control the Controllables

Today’s Thought: Control the Controllables

We’ve heard this before, and it sounds cliché, but it’s true. There are so many things that impact our lives every single day – the majority of which we have no control over. The only thing we can truly control is us. We can’t always control our circumstance, but we can control our attitude, our outlook, and our actions. There are going to be unpleasant things that happen to us. We’re going to get in a fight with our family or spouse, our kids are going to do something to drive us crazy. There are going to be bad drivers that piss us off. We are going to receive bad news. We are going to mess something up and feel bad about it. All these things are going to happen to us.

We are humans living with other humans. We are not perfect, and we are going to mess up, so why give power away to these things? Why give up our peace of mind for something we never had control over in the first place? We can’t give up our peace to these people and situations because they didn’t earn it. Our well-being and peace of mind belongs to us. Things are going
to happen around us that are going to give us an opportunity to be pissed and hurt. But they are also an opportunity for us to grow and overcome.

It’s okay to be upset when something happens, but then what? What are we going to do about it? Are we going to let it steal our joy for the whole day, or are we going to use it to propel us forward?

Today, I challenge you to control the controllables. Control your reaction, your attitude, your outlook, and your energy 😊

Dhall Here: Happy Sunday! I hope you enjoyed reading a phenomenal post from our guest blogger, Danielle DeAngelis. Danielle is a Team Member at United Wholesale Mortgage and will continue dropping gems on Chatter in The Hall for the next month! She challenged her team to go 21 business days without complaining…you know I love this. During the challenge, Danielle made sure she kept motivation high by sending her team snippets of inspiration and insights. After reading her entries, I knew I had to have her share with you. Stay tuned for more posts… it keeps getting better!

DHall

Progress Over Perfection

Hey Hey: Over the next month, Chatter in The Hall will be featuring a guest blogger.   Danielle DeAngelis, is a Team Lead at United Wholesale Mortgage and will be contributing to our movement.  I was fortunate to get to see some of the stuff she was sending to her team and it was fabulous. Danielle challenged her team to go 21 business days without complaining.   You know I love this.  Through this challenge she created some very insightful and meaningful realizations, and she’s sharing them with us!

Today’s Thought: Progress Over Perfection

I got in my car to leave work yesterday and immediately realized that I had forgot to send out my daily email! It was just one of those days where it completely slipped my mind. I immediately started panicking… and then I stopped. Yes, I felt bad about forgetting. But I made a plan in my head about how I was going to fix it (or let go of it) and then that was that. Once I had my plan, I didn’t need to stress any more. And just like that, the worry was gone.

Progress willalways outweigh perfection. So often we give up on something because we are not perfect at it, but that is CRAZY! I will never be a perfect leader, or wife, or mother, but that doesn’t mean I quit those things. It doesn’t even mean that I should quitstriving to be the best in those things. The goal is not perfection, the goal is always to be the best version of ourselves. And when we fall short of the best version of ourselves because we got caught up in the moment and found ourselves complaining, or showed up in a way we didn’t want to show up – we need to take note of what didn’t go well, make amends by either taking action or choosing to forgive and let go, and then we need to keep it moving and try our best on the very next opportunity we have.

And here is the good news guys, once we have made progress of any kind; it can never been undone. If you make a single conscious effort to stop yourself from complaining today, that single effort cannot be undone or erased. And if we focus on accumulating small victories like that, the goal you have (whatever it is) will be easier to accomplish.

Don’t give up on things that you aren’t perfect at. Progress and effort are a far better measure of success than perfection could ever be. And give yourself credit for the work you’ve already done, you own that, and it can never be taken away from you 😊

Do The Things You Sometimes Don’t Want To Do

One of the best people to ever come into my life was an Italian dude named Steve Piazza.  I have written about him before.  He passed away 1 year ago.  He did an immense amount to help me.

The short version is that he was a guy who asked me to do things I didn’t want to do.  But I somehow knew it was good for me.  So I did ’em.  And it worked.   And I enjoyed more success because of his suggestions than I really ever dreamed of and that was incredibly rewarding.   The greatest part of it all……..he violated these all the time……..but he told me he did and he wanted me to be better than he was.   That’s true leadership.

So why am I telling you this?

Well I just want you to consider that some of the things you get asked to do that don’t seem like that much fun might just be in your best interest.

– Arrive 5 minutes early to everything.   It shows you care.
– Print your calendar off the night before and study it.  Visualize how your next day will go. Costs you nothing to prepare.
– Take a few minutes after everything you do to make a plan for the next steps.  Don’t go from one thing to the next without THINKING.
– Ask a team member of yours for feedback.  Ask them their thoughts on your weaknesses so you can get better.  Ask people to be candid with you so you have a higher self awareness.
– Call and email your sphere of influence much more often than you do.  Building relationships is important.
– Make a calendar of every 10 minutes of your day and fill it in the night before to challenge what you currently think of “busy”.
– Track every 10 minutes of your day the next day to see just how busy you really are.
– Take the time to make sure people you know, know how much you love them.

None of this is glamorous. None of it.   But these are all things that will make you better in your career.

I’m so glad Piazza told me all this.   And to be honest I’m not exactly sure why I believed him.  But I did.  And that singular belief in what he told me to do may have altered my entire life.  That’s how powerful these decisions are.

Have a great morning.

DHall

Thanks For Responding So Quickly

Over my career I have gotten many texts and emails like this.

I got one the other day to a referral I got that I responded to in 1 minute, called 3 minutes later, and updated the referral source 12 minutes after that.  To me it’s just how I do things.  To most others it’s lightening speed and shows a great level of care and service.

I think there is a certain arrogance with people who respond slow in a service industry.   It’s not a game breaker but I don’t choose to do business with people who don’t prioritize good communication and sharing thoughts quickly like I do.   To me it’s like taking the back up instead of the starter.

Can someone be really good and respond slow?   I suppose.  But doesn’t everyone want to work with people who are quick to respond?  It shows a certain amount of energy, care, and prioritization of their business.

In my experience people who respond slower are typically disorganized, not prioritized properly in their day, and often times not as energetic.

Responding quickly costs you nothing and shows you care.   No reason not to really.   Unless being successful isn’t your priority.

Is this going to make or break you?  No but I would put it as 1 of those 15 little things that can make a difference.

DHall