98 Percent of What I Care About Revolves Around 2 Words

Life is filled with lots of things that don’t matter. As I get older I find myself trying to steer away from those things more and more. I am going to do a scientific study that will probably determine that many humans do lots of things that don’t matter between ages 15 and 42………and when you hit the age of 43 you now have a clue as to what is important and you start to focus on those things almost exclusively………..man I wasted a lot of time as a young guy……..

Ok, enough of that or I’ll just get pissed…….let’s talk about some things that DO MATTER……….cause in my 46 years of experience, there are two words that surround everything I care about (or at least 98 percent of it)……..HUNGER and LOVE……both words are impactful. Both are critical to happiness. Both have a lot to do with how people do things and live.  

And for the purpose of this week’s note from our great team here at Chatter………we are going to focus on HUNGER (we can save Love for another blog as I learn more about it).  

I think people that are hungry are more fulfilled. I think they get into trouble less. I think they have more purpose. I think hunger is the basis of all that is good around all that we do. People that lack hunger struggle to find purpose and fulfillment.

I think being hungry keeps you young. I think it’s the key to becoming great. I have my own definition of Hunger that I use when I talk to companies and young people. It might help you. It might not. What the hell, I’ll tell it to you anyway.


Helpful – the more you give the more you are going to get. Be helpful.

Unrelenting – stay after things even when they get hard. That’s where all the good stuff is.

Next to impossible – stay focused on those things because those are things you will remember you did.

Get to – You never “got to” in this life. You “get to”. Everything in your life you “get to” do.  

Energy – Be a battery charger for everyone you run into. The world is filled with battery drainers. Be a charger.

Ridiculous – Be totally ridiculous in your over the top pursuit of your goals. All the great ones are.

To accomplish things in life that are out of the norm defines extraordinary. Let’s teach young people the value of HUNGER and instill it in them as a great attribute. I’m not sure that there are many things in life that I have cared about or will ever care about that didn’t start with a hunger as the beginning of it and something that matters.  

Don’t fill your life with things that don’t matter. Relish and focus on your inner hunger and let it drive you.

Have a great week!


It’s really smart to TRAIN YOUR BRAIN


This summer I was very fortunate. I qualified for the two biggest national championships that an aspiring true amateur golfer can play in – the US Amateur and the US Mid-Amateur. A lot goes into hitting goals like that in life. 20 years of hard work, playing a game you love, seeking out advice from different pros, running into a guy named Jay Horton when I was a kid who helped me immensely, my parents having enough money to buy me clubs etc.

Part of success is fortune. Part is work. Part is dedication. And part is mindset. Actually, a whole hell of a lot of it is mindset. So let’s talk about that some, shall we?

As a competitive golfer and businessman, I’ve learned there are “right ways” to think and “wrong ways” to think. It is very helpful to your success to study these methods and apply them to your daily life. It takes a lot of discipline and review to change your thinking. THE most important skill any golfer can have is self-belief and a feeling that things are going to go really well in the future. I like to believe that it’s my destiny in life to have a lot of good fortune on my side. And thinking that way is a self-fulfilling prophecy that makes that a reality.  I really believe in that.
Here is something I read almost every evening that helps me with my golf. I also have one that applies to business also (future blog). Hope this sparks some thoughts and improves your performance in whatever it is that’s important to you!!!

Tomorrow is a great day to shoot in the 60s.

Tomorrow is a day to have fun.  A lot of fun.

Tomorrow is a day to have a great attitude.

Tomorrow is a day to remember my successes.

Tomorrow is a day to prepare to win the Senior British open in 2026.

Tomorrow is a day to prep for the next US Amateur you play in.

Tomorrow is day 1 of 73,000 days I have here, and that’s it…if I’m lucky.

TOMORROW will be a day that so many on this earth never get to do. I’m very fortunate.

One of the greatest lessons I learned as a kid was from a golf pro named Jay Horton.  I was a hot-headed, hot shot kid that would get very emotional and upset, and when I hit a bad shot there was hell to pay.  Jay used to tell me little things that would creep into my psyche and help me.  And one of the biggest things he’d tell me, helps me 30 years later still.  I used it this summer on my 34th hole of the US Amateur qualifier.  His voice was in my head.  And it helped me qualify many, many years after the lesson…………….He used to tell me that when I would hit what I perceived to be an easy shot into trouble, “That might be the only place you can make birdie from today on this hole…”. Wow, what a powerful lesson!  Maybe if I hit that shot to 6 feet I would have missed but because I hit it in the bunker maybe I’m going to make it?  Love it.  Apply this to your next set back.  MINDSET.  If something bad happens, is that potentially your path to something great?  Think about it.

Have a great Sunday…what a great day to have a great attitude!


I would rather play my first Ryder Cup without my dumb ass brother tweeting. 


Peter Willett is Danny Willett’s brother.  Danny Willett is playing in the Ryder Cup for Team Europe.  Peter Willett sent out the following tweet this past week about Americans:

“Team Europe needs to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.


They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato’, hoping to impress their cousin.


They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ while high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.


Wow. Totally nuts right?  A little distracting for old Danny boy at the Ryder Cup?  You bet.


And how will this affect Danny?  We are going to find out aren’t we? But there’s no doubt it can’t be good.  Will this be good for him in the future?  Maybe there is a lesson for him somehow.  Will his future endorsements be affected?  Wow, lots of questions for the future here………


So what’s the lesson/takeaway for now?   Well, that one seems pretty obvious.  EVERY SINGLE THING that you and I and everyone we know does affects someone else.  Brothers, dads, sisters, uncles, friends, caddies, confidants, spouses, etc…so that’s the lesson…remember that one.  Everything you do (good and bad) affects someone else.  So make it good.   Because you can make others’ lives easier by doing GOOD THINGS that reflect well on them.  And then they’ll be proud to know you/be related to you/hug you/love you.


It boils down to something we’ve been told for years.  And it never gets old.  DO THE RIGHT THING.


In summary:


1.      Do the right thing.

2.      Be aware of the things you do and how they will reflect on those you know.

3.      If you have a crazy brother, don’t let him get a twitter account.


Happy Sunday!




A good list, my interpretation and keeping it simple


A really smart, intuitive team member at our office sent a list out to the rest of the team on what they consider to be the ingredients to a high achieving, successful person. I thought it was worth posting but also wanted to give you my own interpretation of it, as it can relate to any person, any team, and any situation.

Nowhere in here does it list “really good at doing what they are told” …….or “follows directions” as a contributor to success.  The reason I point that out is that to get ahead and create value for yourself (and in your life), you have to be a PROACTIVE ANIMAL and go after things.  You MAKE things happen. You don’t WAIT for things to happen. If something isn’t getting done at the office, just do it.  And own it.  Do you see your team isn’t reporting on something they should be? Bring it up! Think the team should change a process and do it a different way? Suggest and implement something better!   Take ownership and put yourself out there.


Now to the list………


Attributes of the super successful are as follows:

  • Wake up early
  • Works on their business constantly
  • Works 5 hours of your 48 weekend hours
  • Always positive & optimistic
  • Drowns out the noise, instead of engaging it
  • Make themselves the obvious choice
  • Great, supportive teammate
  • Maniacal about finding a better way for everything
  • Creates value in what they do every day, no matter what it is they’re doing


Simplistic.  And pretty easy to implement.

Happy Sunday!!





Friends helping Friends


I remember in college seeing a t-shirt that read “Friends don’t let friends beer goggle” and thinking that was pretty funny in reference to helping a friend out in a funny way.  Well this week I’m your friend.  And I may just help you.  And if I don’t help you directly, I’m going to help one of your friends that’s driving you crazy.  Wow, what a preview huh?

Through a very informal and randomly skewed measurement, approximately 21.3% of people suffer from the “bondage of self”.  Not only can you not stop thinking about yourself, you can’t stop talking about yourself.  Every story you hear is without hesitation jumped on with something about YOU that immediately comes to your mind……..A friend tells you about a low round they had, you had a low round recently too…….A good meal they had, you’re sure to tell them about your last great meal as well.  The words “I” or “me” immediately come to mind often!!  Well, I’m here to tell you it’s a disease.  And we need to stop it.  So here are your top 3 formulas for success:

1. Go one entire hour without talking about yourself.  It’s gonna be a bitch but if you can withstand the pain, think of how happy you are going to make those around you.

2. Ask someone else to talk about you.  You’ll feel so foolish you’ll completely understand what your friends are going through by listening to your nonstop insecure babble.

3. Ask a friend to spend a day with you and slap you in your face every time you talk about yourself.  Your face will hurt like hell at the end of the day but you’ll feel good that you invested in your future!!

Ok that’s it this week.  Sharp, cutting, to the point.  And filled with fun.

Oh yea, and I did this for you.  Not for ME!!




Sometimes we imagine that success is easier than it is because of appearance.  You see a good looking guy/gal on TV accepting the trophy at the end of an event and its like “Wow, I wish I could be like them.” But we don’t see all that goes on behind the scenes to get there – the 5am Sunday wake up, the skipped social events, the travel, the pain, the ice packs, the countless hours of worrying with no sleep….the list goes on.  All the stuff behind the hoisting of the trophy that isn’t as sexy as that moment in time where we see the hoisting.

But more than anything is the adversity you have to go thru to get there.  Every single person in the world that has had great success, has done so through massive adversity.  I mean massive.  More than what we can probably imagine.   If you’ve had successes you realize that they come soon after that “should I just quit” thought that crosses your mind the weeks or months prior to the success.  It’s a really interesting thing the way the desire to be done with it all can  come very close to the actual triumph itself.

So in that vein, this week’s lesson is the following:

The notion that you have more adversity than others is typically not true.   In fact you probably haven’t seen much adversity at all compared to people that don’t have all the advantages we do here in the United States as Americans.

This is why the thought that to “embrace the adversity and anticipate it” works so effectively.  The reality is that before you hit it, you probably cannot or have not become very successful.  It’s always on the other side of it, not this side.

For those of you that have actually kept your New Year’s resolutions, you know that as we get into September, there have been many highs and lows along the way…keeping and fulfilling goals is really tough to do.  And really easy to talk about.  You will continue to excel in what you do if you continue to focus on your attitude and effort on becoming better every day…..and know what’s coming.  Adversity.

Stay focused on your goals and know that EVERY SINGLE GREAT THING in the world comes on the other side of adversity.  Believe it.  And live it.

Happy Labor Day


Great people do exist for you to hire!!


Sometimes it seems there are no “great people” to hire anymore.  So many people “looking for a new opportunity” disguised as “can I fool you in the interview cause I really suck”.  Hard to sort thru it all and still keep your optimism level high in spite of all the noise.

Those of you that know me well know that I’m competitive, want to be the best, and am hyper focused on our work team not only meeting but exceeding expectations.  And you need GREAT people to do that.

I had a great meeting last week with a young lady that wants to potentially join us in the future to help us with a lot of “back room” stuff involved in working with big banks, warehouse lines, trading mortgages on the secondary market etc.

As I was talking to her about her experiences she said something to me so passionately and emphatically, it got me super pumped up…….I was asking about how things were going in her current business and how her team was doing…….as she told me about how they have grown double digit percentages quarter over quarter for the last 2 years, I complimented her on that achievement……..to which she replied “well it’s ok for now but just realize that single digit quarterly growth is not ok with me or any part of my identity”……….

I mean that was pretty awesome.  Basically, if she isn’t kicking total ass, she thinks that sucks.  Thought it was a good story and a good mentality to have for all of us as we enter into a new work week.

Don’t settle.  A little better than what you did before isn’t good enough.  Go for the really good stuff and don’t compromise.


One of our most popular blogs of all time!


As a special “throwback blog”, we have brought back an oldie but one that garnered much fanfare……..my man Dabo Sweeney and BYOG……Bring your own guts……enjoy the blog, and the video……with college football season only 48 days away………

I find myself attracted to figures in life that are inspirational.  Sometimes it’s funny or silly and sometimes it’s real.  But I keep going back to it because it speaks to me on volume 10 out of 10.

I guess the reason I have such little interest in politics is there is such a void of real inspiration.  It’s a lot of canned crap.  Rehearsed and re-rehearsed messages that are constructed to serve those that pay for them.  Pretty lame in the overall scheme of “what is great in life” or “stuff that gets you juiced”.  Important issues that get melted into “what serves who” the best at the time.  It’s really unfortunate.

So let’s turn to Dabo Sweeney, Head Coach at University of Clemson Football.  I’ve always found Dabo to be a bit “clownish” but the more I see from him the more I can sense he is growing and developing as a person.  He is genuine.  He is fun.  He is not polished.  He is authentic.  And I love it………  And when I watch sports coaches I often get “juiced up” or “inspired” because so much of what they do and say is filled with passion and spontaneous enthusiasm.

So let’s rewind to the post game IMMEDIATELY after Clemson beat Notre Dame 3 months ago and the reporters and fans rush the field and there is a sea of humanity and they stick the microphone in front of Dabo to get his immediate comments on a 2 point win at the buzzer………you talk about inspirational……..for those that heard this interview it never gets old…for those that haven’t……read on and then immediately check it out for yourself by clicking on the link at the end of the page. (It’s worth sitting through the ten second ad to watch!)

“I can give you uniforms, and meals, and we can give you scholarships, but I can’t give you guts……and tonight it was BYOG, Bring your own guts”

I can hardly watch it without either smiling, thinking about how those kids were inspired to do something special and/or laughing because it is just so genuine.  And I find myself walking around the house some days when I want to get pumped up and just yelling out randomly “BYOG Bring your own guts”….I really do.  At the top of my lungs.  YELLING IT……why?  Cause it’s fun.  And it does something to me that gets me into a state that is higher than before I said it.  I highly recommend it if you aren’t feeling your best.  Watch it, repeat it, and yell it.  And then tell me it doesn’t immediately lighten your spirits or inspire you.

I guess that’s why I always go sport over politics.  Even though it doesn’t feel right and a “game” is so inconsequential in comparison to world issues.  But sports keeps drawing me in.  Passion, enthusiasm, emotion, something real.

I wish Dabo or someone worth watching would become a politician.  Nothing would be better than him telling some talking heads to “BYOG”.  America would be talking about it and the platform for inspiration would be well served.

Are you “inspired” by any of the 15 or so politicians we have seen in this Presidential run?  Isn’t that one of the top things we are looking for?  It’s kind of sad we can’t find one.




What are you reinforcing?


One of the simple lessons I learned in Psychology 101 is that emotion reinforces memory.  It makes a lot of sense, right?  The more emotion you surround your experiences with, the more it reinforces them.  We all have micro-traumas that we deal with and how we deal with them is important…..it determines our outlook, how we will handle things in the future and how our children and their children will approach them.  Every morning we wake up, in some respects we “press the play button” and the things you do on auto-pilot are determined to a large extent as to how you CHOOSE to react to individual situations as we described above.

Did you react to your last bad golf shot or your poor review with the boss like you just went thru an audit with the IRS?  Or did you smile afterward and think either “I’m gonna get the best review of all time next time we meet” or “I’ll knock it in from there”?  Makes a big difference overall.

Of all the things you will go thru today, some will be pleasing, some will not.  Life doesn’t go the way we want it to.  There are a lot of curve balls that will come your way today.  It’s a lock.   How will you handle them?  It completely determines your future self.

Here are the top 3 questions I like to ask people that ask us for some help…….these are good ones you may want to use or ask yourself:

1.        Do you spend more of your day fist pumping or throwing clubs?  It’s a metaphor for celebration over gloom. How do you handle a letdown, a game played less than par, or a disappointing dinner with your friend? Your perception and how you choose to think about these situations is entirely in your control and will make a difference in how you feel the rest of the day, week, etc. and also how you feel about the game/person moving forward.

2.       Are you spending a lot of your time in life suffocating with perfection and comparison like so many others?  Its human nature to compare yourself, your situation and your life to others as you make observations. We can break the cycle but it’s gonna take some work. You aren’t Joe and Joe isn’t you. Stop the comparison and judgment and live your life (and make it the best you can).  Great lives are lived by CREATING who you are.  All of your decisions cause a CREATION of you.

3.       Do you appreciate how good you are or are you constantly critical of yourself?  You can choose to spend a lot of time thinking how good you are, or you can let everyone know how miserable you are.  Those are the 2 extremes you get to choose from.  Is your default mechanism “I’m ok at these things that aren’t that important, but I’m not very good at these and it’s just killing me?”……..or is it “Man I’m good at a lot of things and I have a couple things to work on but I’m on it!”  Most people’s default mechanism is to dwell on all the things they can’t do.

People will end up veering away from you the longer you’re “Mr. Doom and Gloom” who constantly finds things to complain about. An old quote I’ve used that really resonated with people is “Are you a battery charger or a battery drainer?”

A great way to go thru the day is to spend a lot of time in thought about “Wow, that felt great when I had that good meeting with Bob this morning.  I felt like I really explained myself well and he got the point.”  That’s healthy.  That’s not arrogance.  That’s how we are supposed to talk to ourselves. Arrogance is what happens when mediocrity recognizes success.

Get emotional about the GOOD things that happen to you and the things you’re good at!  Let the things go that aren’t that great, and teach it to your kids.  Every time you overreact……..to something bad…….you are just making it 10 times worse.  Is the IRS really auditing your every move?  I don’t think so.  Reaction causes reinforcement.

A poor shot isn’t a poor shot to ruin your day, but a shot that has happened to provide you with feedback.  And that feedback can help you get better.

Your brain is recording what you are doing.  Make your own “play” button what you want it to be.


You’re totally into yourself, you say ridiculous things that make you look foolish, and you might be funny as hell


This week is a bit of a rant.  Three of my latest observations include things you don’t want to do and areas in your mind you don’t want to live.  These may seem harsh but they do exist in the physical world and if you have experienced them, you feel the same way I do….and we need to tell these people to stop.   If you don’t recognize these immediately by thinking “Oh yeah, Bob does that all the time” then you either 1.  Have a very low level of awareness….or 2.  You maybe do it yourself because how else could you be unaware of it (and why is no one telling you?).

I’m confident you’ll think of at least one person as you read my three observations below. 2 and 3 are tough to call people out on and 1 is just flat out funny as hell.  Here we go……

1.      You have trouble coping.  As children we learn “coping mechanisms” when we don’t get what we want.  Oh you wanted to stay up late?  No dice….you cry…….you learn….you slow down on that behavior in the future……for most…….some have no coping mechanisms.  Now typically I don’t advocate hanging with people with “negative traits”……but watching your buddies that have no coping mechanisms when things go wrong on the golf course, in the restaurant, when someone takes their parking spot……well that’s just flat out really frickin funny.

2.      You project all of your issues on to everyone else.  I call it the “spit your crap on me” syndrome.  Your marriage sucks so that means my marriage will suck.  You have trouble under pressure so that means no one can come through under pressure.  All of your focus is on how old you are and all the things you can’t accomplish because you aren’t 21 years old anymore. So now you are gonna tell me all the things I can’t do.  Give it up people.  You are ruining any hope or optimism that those around you have.  In fact I have a hint for you here.  Go opposite.  Encourage everyone.  Stop telling everyone that because you don’t know how to have a relationship that that means that all relationships are like yours.  They aren’t.  You just aren’t very good at it and you want everyone else to not be good at it too. Or you think its impossible and hopeless for all because of your situation.  Please stop.

3.     Bondage of self.  You know these people that constantly “bring it back to themselves” like a boomerang. It’s totally impossible for them to have a conversation with you without constantly using the words “I” or “me”. ”Hey Bob, I had a real good lunch at Long Lake and Woodward the other day with Tommy talking about his back issues…”  Interrupting Bondage Bob doesn’t let you finish your sentence and replies “I (fill in the blank about something he did at Long Lake and Woodward)” that has nothing to do with what I’m talking about…”Yea I was at Long Lake and Woodward last week for a meeting”……why do I care that you were at Long Lake and Woodward and it’s so nonsensical?………..or even better………they talk constantly about themselves and NEVER take an interest in you.  I kind of like these people in a weird way…… because I don’t have to ask them any questions……they are gonna tell me all about themselves……but after about 11 minutes this gets very old and I find myself on the other side of the fairway talking with my caddie rather than spending a lot of time with Bob.

Key takeaway this week……..I can deal with you acting like a complete fool….just stop telling me about yourself constantly, and all the things I can’t do because you didn’t.

Happy Sunday!!