You’re totally into yourself, you say ridiculous things that make you look foolish, and you might be funny as hell

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This week is a bit of a rant.  Three of my latest observations include things you don’t want to do and areas in your mind you don’t want to live.  These may seem harsh but they do exist in the physical world and if you have experienced them, you feel the same way I do….and we need to tell these people to stop.   If you don’t recognize these immediately by thinking “Oh yeah, Bob does that all the time” then you either 1.  Have a very low level of awareness….or 2.  You maybe do it yourself because how else could you be unaware of it (and why is no one telling you?).

I’m confident you’ll think of at least one person as you read my three observations below. 2 and 3 are tough to call people out on and 1 is just flat out funny as hell.  Here we go……

1.      You have trouble coping.  As children we learn “coping mechanisms” when we don’t get what we want.  Oh you wanted to stay up late?  No dice….you cry…….you learn….you slow down on that behavior in the future……for most…….some have no coping mechanisms.  Now typically I don’t advocate hanging with people with “negative traits”……but watching your buddies that have no coping mechanisms when things go wrong on the golf course, in the restaurant, when someone takes their parking spot……well that’s just flat out really frickin funny.

2.      You project all of your issues on to everyone else.  I call it the “spit your crap on me” syndrome.  Your marriage sucks so that means my marriage will suck.  You have trouble under pressure so that means no one can come through under pressure.  All of your focus is on how old you are and all the things you can’t accomplish because you aren’t 21 years old anymore. So now you are gonna tell me all the things I can’t do.  Give it up people.  You are ruining any hope or optimism that those around you have.  In fact I have a hint for you here.  Go opposite.  Encourage everyone.  Stop telling everyone that because you don’t know how to have a relationship that that means that all relationships are like yours.  They aren’t.  You just aren’t very good at it and you want everyone else to not be good at it too. Or you think its impossible and hopeless for all because of your situation.  Please stop.

3.     Bondage of self.  You know these people that constantly “bring it back to themselves” like a boomerang. It’s totally impossible for them to have a conversation with you without constantly using the words “I” or “me”. ”Hey Bob, I had a real good lunch at Long Lake and Woodward the other day with Tommy talking about his back issues…”  Interrupting Bondage Bob doesn’t let you finish your sentence and replies “I (fill in the blank about something he did at Long Lake and Woodward)” that has nothing to do with what I’m talking about…”Yea I was at Long Lake and Woodward last week for a meeting”……why do I care that you were at Long Lake and Woodward and it’s so nonsensical?………..or even better………they talk constantly about themselves and NEVER take an interest in you.  I kind of like these people in a weird way…… because I don’t have to ask them any questions……they are gonna tell me all about themselves……but after about 11 minutes this gets very old and I find myself on the other side of the fairway talking with my caddie rather than spending a lot of time with Bob.

Key takeaway this week……..I can deal with you acting like a complete fool….just stop telling me about yourself constantly, and all the things I can’t do because you didn’t.

Happy Sunday!!

D.Hall

 

Father’s Day, Nostalgia, and US Open Sunday 

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What a day today is going to be.  First, Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s out there.  My Dad doesn’t get anything cause when you have sons like Jason and I, every day is pretty much Father’s Day.  I actually told my dad 26 years ago that I SHOULD BE GETTING THE FATHER’S DAY GIFTS FROM HIM for making his job so EASY.  He is still cracking up about that one.    Have a fun day today Dad.

Ok on to this week’s message…….a little all over the place but there has been a lot going on.  Top 4 things I’ve observed the last couple weeks and things I’m looking forward to:

1.  Tonight’s Game 7 between Golden State and Cleveland.  Could go down as a historic game in NBA history.  Wouldn’t it be fun for Steph Curry to have a 3 point shot with 1 second to go, down by 2 points?  I’m rooting for a great game.

2.   Muhammad Ali is gone but never forgotten.  What a life.  This guy stood up for what he thought was right and a charisma and energy that was historic.  A lot of people say “there will never be another like Ali”……and while I like to pay homage as much as the next guy………there probably will be……..but he was unique…..I love a guy that in the same sentence says “I’m pretty and I’m a bad man”.  Loved this guy.

3.   Gordie Howe passed away.  One of the top 2 hockey players of all time and one of the favorites of the city of Detroit.  What a legend.

4.   Today is the final round of the US Open…..so exciting.  Fox’s coverage is so brutal I will probably have the sound down, but man it would be cool to see Dustin, Sergio and a no name come to the last hole all tied up.  What a blast that would be to watch.

So what’s this week’s takeaway?  Things that are UNUSUAL are the things that we love the most in life.    These are the things that get us “jazzed up”.  Trying to be like everyone else and “fitting in” sucks.  Let’s stop teaching people to fit in.

Muhammad Ali didn’t fit in.  Gordie Howe didn’t fit in.  Steph Curry doesn’t fit in.  The winner of the US Open won’t fit in.  All with superior work ethic and a dedication to something that is HIGHLY UNUSUAL.

To be unusual (in a good way) requires an unusual devotion and talent.  To be exceptional and noteworthy requires a work ethic that no one else you know has.   You too can be the exception to all sameness if you are willing to give what few others are willing to give.  Not for everyone but belief in self is the biggest part of accomplishing big things.

You want to be like everyone else?  Or do you want to be different?

My dad taught me that.  I guess he did give me the gift.

Happy Father’s Day.

D.Hall

Evesdropping On A Little Cafeteria Conversation

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“Have a good weekend?”

“I did absolutely nothing.”

“Now that’s a damn good weekend right there.”

This is a joke right?  Nope, these are real conversations.  I didn’t make this up just so I had something to blog about this week………I actually heard it at the table 2 over from me and there goes my curious mind again………what?  Yep.

And this is another installment of “why the world is a very dangerous place without great leadership” and why “if you are a great leader you are going to be in great shape ‘cause people need you”.

I am worried about my loved ones and people I care about being around this type of conversation.  It can pollute your mind at a very young age.  Luckily if you get old like me, you know better.  And therein lies the lesson…..

If you are below the age of 30 or you know people below the age of 30 please push yourself and them to live by these 3 golden rules:

  1. Every single day of your life including Sunday should involve you doing at least 3 productive things. Make sure of it.
  1. Only surround yourself with people that are more productive than you because it will LIFT your own game.
  1. Do not under any circumstances CONFORM to anything that feels like “average” or “normal”. You are way better off being an outrageous outcast than someone that “fits in”.  “Fitting in” sucks.

Short and sweet.  Happy Sunday.

And make today PRODUCTIVE.

D.Hall

 

There is only one thing to do between 8pm and 830pm

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I got some advice a long time ago, and it might be some of the best I have ever gotten.  It has served me well for a long time. There are certain times in the day to do certain things.
You learn this over time.  Brush your teeth 3 times a day.  Eat lunch at noon.  Go to the gym at 630am etc. etc.  These are some of the basics.

Here are THE 2 BIGGIES……..advanced lessons on timing that I have learned over the years………These unique mindsets (when taken to a new level) will serve you very well……..one is confidence and one is paranoia.

​1.  Spend your time between 6am and 630am thinking about all the things you need to do to get better…..you have the whole day to get them done.  “Freaking yourself out” in the morning is one of the most impactful things you can do.  You give yourself a chance to do something about it.  You need to write it down daily in your PARANOIA JOURNAL.

​ 2. ​ Spend 8pm to 830pm only think of how kick ass you are.  For the most part the day is done, you are tired physically and mentally.  And there isn’t a lot you can do about any problems you might be experiencing.  So spend your time in positive thoughts about you and all the goodness you bring to the world.  You are a force for good and you have probably done way more good than you give yourself credit for.    You need to write it down daily in your CONFIDENCE JOURNAL.

Two Journals.  One person.  Lots of great results.  All from thinking about things at the RIGHT TIME!!!

Don’t believe what is true, believe what is helpful.

D.Hall

Happy Memorial Day

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Short and sweet this week from the Offices at Chatter. Today is all about celebrating our servicemen and women. Truly amazing the sacrifices they make for the rest of us.

Make sure today isn’t just about bar-b-q’s and being away from the boss. Make today about all that we have because of the bravery of other fellow Americans. It’s incredible really when you think about it.

Happy Holiday and thanks so much to our brave Americans we get to celebrate today.

D.Hall

New Information Creates New Perspectives

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Life is filled with curve balls. Things we don’t expect. Just when you think you have seen it all, life somehow manages to surprise you.

I have been fortunate to know many people and learn from many circumstances. One lesson that always stuck with me was “you have no idea what other people are going through, so assume they are going through a hard time”. It is a core philosophy that keeps you humble. And keeps you grateful.

And sometimes it’s very easy to forget.

I recently came to learn that a guy I have always thought was “odd” actually had some extremely tough circumstances growing up. I had never known this. I have known this guy for 9 years and while we have never been close, he always struck me as someone that wasn’t great to the people who knew him and was tough to get to know. For sure I had made a judgment about him from afar and had my inner voice telling me negative things.

And then I got some new news. And all of my previous perceptions suddenly vanished.

Turns out his Dad abused him when he was kid and his relationship with his father was horrendous. That was like a wow moment. All this time I’ve been thinking the guy is a little off and then I find this out. Sort of answers a lot of the things I may have been curious about over the years. In fact it sort of answers EVERY SINGLE one of them.

That really hit me. Cause my relationship with my Dad couldn’t be better. I mean it’s the best. He’s a supporter, a cheerleader, a confidant, he makes fun of me, he loves me like crazy and he is my greatest fan. And I couldn’t have gotten luckier. And I probably take it for granted sometimes because I’m human.

So this week’s lesson is simple. Look around and see what things in your life are “easy” and “not complicated”. And then pick up the damn phone right now and call the people that shape and influence those great relationships and tell them they kick ass. Those people are rare in our lives and need to be celebrated on a daily basis. Also, don’t be so quick to judge others, because the truth is you don’t know what they could be going through. Perspective.

I’m calling my Dad now.

D.Hall

Starting Your Own Business is Fun

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And it’s also hard.  But it being hard is why it’s so fun.  The fun and satisfaction of doing something on your own outweighs the stress.  We highly recommend it if you have been considering it…..makes life much more fulfilling.  It’s such a sweet feeling it’s hard for us to put it into words.  It’s more of a feeling that gets you pumped up when it’s 420am and you wake up accidentally and want to start working.  Hard to put into words.  But I’ll try.

Having recently opened my own business, I have come up with some observations (some helpful and some nonsense of course) on what happens and how people behave when you open your doors.

Top observations since opening a new business—

1.  Everyone congratulates you.  Don’t congratulate us for investing a lot of our money into something.  That part is easy.  Congratulate us when we start to have some success and we create a ton of jobs across the country.

2.  Most people don’t really want to work.  You get a lot of calls from people that “want to get on board”.  That’s code for “Do you have something easy for me to do to make a lot of money?”  Gotta sort thru a lot of BS people.

3.  People want you to do well and will help.  I am very lucky to have many friends referring business and offering help at no charge (many thanks here!).  It’s hard to do without help.

4.  You gotta have a “go to” person that supports your mission.  Multiple people in this is EXTREMELY helpful.  Unwavering support with no judgement.  Fortunately I do.

5.  You learn a lot about people when they work at a startup.  Startups are super hard.  Everyone has to do much more than they thought they would need to.  It’s inspiring when people step up.  You learn what people are made of.

I have talked to my team a lot about our 20 year anniversary in 2036.  I will be 65 and will be the perfect time for me to start to slow down a touch….you don’t really believe that, do you?  Shit, I can’t slow down.

I think painting a vision of the future is important when you’re building a business.  The future is hard for many to imagine when you are working in temporary space.  I take pictures every day because I want to always remember where we started.

So the lesson in all of this………whatever you are doing today “on your way” to something bigger…….enjoy it.  The struggle.  The difficulty.  The doubt.  The lessons.  The “I’m so far away from where I want to be” feeling.  Why?  Cause it’s so, so sweet when you hit your big, big, big, big “Let’s have 1,000 team members” goal.  So sweet.

Too sweet for words.

D.Hall

P.S.  Attached is an article Crain’s ran on us recently.  I am very proud of the team we have today and am humbled to have people that believe in my vision and the future of what we can accomplish.  Thanks to all that have been very supportive of our team already.

http://www.crainsdetroit.com/article/20160417/NEWS/160419842/ex-rock-spokesman-david-halls-new-pitch-his-own-mortgage-business

Mother’s Day is Legit

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In the Hall household growing up, May was a big month. My brother was born in May. Mother’s Day is in May. In fact, my momma’s-boy brother was born in 1974 on Mother’s Day!!  What a gift!!

One thing I learned more than anything from my mom………moms like cool things.  They like cool lingo.  They want to be a part of the action.  They don’t like being left out.  People used to ask my mom why she watched so much Sports Center and she would reply “with a house full of boys I don’t like being left out of the conversation.”  That pretty much sums up how cool my mom was in general.

Moms also like controversy.  Controversy can be fun.  I falsely accused my mom when I was 14 years old in a moment of weakness of “shrinking my laundry on purpose”.  Yea I actually said that to her.  She thought I was nuts for sure…and she also thought it was funny.  It made me feel better when I later apologized for “wrongly accusing her”.  She asked me if I knew I was nuts.  I didn’t realize it at 14.

Of all the holidays, Mother’s Day is the best and most important.   Moms matter. A lot. (Remember my blog about birthdays and how we should really be celebrating your mother instead of you?) They do stuff that really amazes me. I can make a list but I won’t.
Actually what the hell, I will.

1.  They tell you what you want to hear, at the exact moment you need to hear it.
2.  When you make big mistakes, they seem to understand the most that we are human.
3.  When good things happen they are by far the most proud.
4.  If things are really messed up and you need help, mom is always the go-to.
5.  If you feel like all is lost, mom will tell you that it’s not…..and somehow she knows the right answer.

My dad used to tell me “if you bring your mother a stick and tell her it’s a gift she will love it”. Mom’s love is probably as unconditional as it gets. She knows your flaws. She defends you to the end. She has your back unwaveringly.

So today is the day to call all moms in the world just to say “you are the bomb” (or whatever cool thing you want to say).

May is a month that moms should be celebrated.  My mom passed away 6 years and 5 days ago…In May.  May is always Mom’s month in my heart.

Hug all moms today.  It’s not the right thing to do, it’s the only thing to do.

D.Hall

P.S.  Last week’s blog about the NFL Draft was a big hit.  We got a lot of feedback and people were excited my mom would be so genius that she could see the Draft was impacting my future success.  Skipping school was well received by most of my readers, absent this one…… Dad’s response was particularly noteworthy……. “You should have been in school boy” was the email I got last Sunday morning.  Unreal.

Life Is Like The NFL Draft

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I love the NFL Draft.  When I was 10 years old, my mom called me in sick to school so I could watch the entire first day from 8am to 8pm.  It was great.  She scored real points with me for that!!  And every year after that, she would call me in, cause she knew I loved it.  Every minute of it.

So as I watched it last week, not much has changed.  I still love it for a lot of the same reasons, but maturity in business has me thinking about it a little differently.

The draft is an evaluation of talent that is no different than how I think about business.  Is this guy the obvious choice by what he has shown in the past?  Is he reliable?  Is he bound to get in trouble?  Is he a “character guy”?  Does he have a “high motor”?  I mean the draft is exactly like a company.  Trying to find the best talent and whatever we invest in them as a company needs to be worth our time.  Can’t miss on your top pick.  Gotta hire smart.

So that got me thinking……what if more people worked each day as if they were at the NFL Combine or playing for the whole world to see?   Cameras on you all the time.  Lots of focus on your every move.  Would you work a little different?  Maybe a little harder knowing tomorrow’s headline on BEPN…..kind of like ESPN but for Business Evaluation……..now that’s clever……ok, ok move on.

So how would people approach their day differently if they were a potential number 1 draft pick?  And is that totally crazy that I would approach my day tomorrow different than an aspiring 22 year old football player?  Are you not as important as them?  Of course you are…….so approach it that way.  It’s funny, in the draft everyone knows and embraces the fact that the world is watching…….and in the workplace so many pretend that no one is watching.  But they are!!  Or should be.

Approach your week this week like the first round possible pick.  And work your behind off this week like you are trying your damnedest to improve your draft status.

Don’t embrace what is “true”, embrace what is helpful.

D.Hall

Four things that help you become great

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These are things that we were actually told not to do in our youth.  Wait, is this right?  Is Hall on to something here or is this nonsense?
Seems the advice handed down generation over generation is sort of what I call the “auto-pilot” responses.  I mean did I just say that same thing my teacher and my buddies’ parents said 25 years ago?  Has nothing changed?  Are we evolving or are we static?Judge for yourself……….as kids we are told to not be “so rambunctious” and “you need to get along with others better and be nicer”.  My personal favorite is the hyper kid that is told to “just chill out and be patient”.

Bah humbug I say to all of it.  Rubbish!!!  (Rubbish is my new favorite word…its high end and sort of foreign….say it a few times, you will like it).

The 4 characteristics I see that have maybe taken me further than anything (and the traits I see in great leaders) violate all of this.  In fact, no…it doesn’t violate it…that’s too mild. Its 180 degrees opposite of what we are being told.

Is this correct?  Yes it is….here they are:

1.      Energy – Nothing is more important than people that bring energy and enthusiasm to your workplace.  This single thing has probably taken me farther than any other intangible………..so in school I was told to “sit still” and that I was “too rambunctious”.  Being rambunctious is really working for me as an adult.

2.      Demanding – Leaders that demand a lot out of people will typically lead to not only getting more out of people but also helps those people grow to new heights.  I have been told I am very demanding.  I have also been thanked by many people later in life when I see them at the Dairy Queen that “you pushed me really hard and I didn’t always understand it, but thanks because you made me better”. In school I was told “you need to get along better and be nicer”.  I was always demanding.  My mom used to tell the kids on my block that “If David is picking on you that means he likes you”.  She was my main defense attorney.  Always had my back.

3.      Impatient for results – I’m not sure there is any great leader I have ever been around that wasn’t wondering “why isn’t that done 5 minutes ago!?” I don’t know a whole lot of great leaders that don’t drive and push the organization on timelines and shortening how long things take. As a kid I was often reminded to “have patience” and “just chill out”.  Fuck that.  I want what I want now.  Works pretty well from where I observe things.

4.      Curiosity – Kids always ask “why” and it gets annoying. I say we should encourage this type of thinking. Faulty thinking is to tell a kid “because I said so”. That is a deflating way to respond and discourages curiosity. In business and as an adult, always challenge (in a good, productive way) and ask the why behind things. Chances are, you’ll get a bad answer and make it better…or get a good answer and learn something.

These four are pretty powerful, don’t you think?

In my experience, some of the things we are teaching young people are the complete opposite of what will make them successful.  Why are we doing that?

Isn’t it odd/coincidental that some of these “undesirable traits” are the ones that lead to the most success? Have we not learned this yet?

Think about this the next time you are influencing others.  You owe people to tell them YOUR thoughts, not what somebody told you 25 years ago.  You’ll be surprised by what you say on “auto-pilot”.

D.Hall